'I'M LIKE THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND . . .'

Basically Earlier My FACEBOOK Status Read :
Naomi 'Pippa Par' Cayol Listening To Songs That Frankly Remind Me To Get A Lover Or KILL YOURSELF .
(I Need A Play Thing Just For The Winter Then You Can Absconde Into Thin Air Come Spring)
STILL .

Don't Think Within The Space Of 2 Seconds My Status Wasn't Flooded With :

'Bit Much'
'Iniiiit.... Overreaction Yeaaaa??'

NO .

The Song In Question : 'You Should Let Me Love You . . . ' And So Fourth .
MOIST .
(Big Up The Moist Crew)

Anyway With It Being A Facebook Status The Subject Can Change At Any Time . . .
Naomi 'Pippa Par' Cayol Decides To Declare :

'I'm Like The Perfect Girlfriend .'
And I Am/Well . . . Would Be .

I Just Have A Few Rules/Regulations :

1) As Much As I Can't Be Controlled, I Will Go Silent When I Know Your Right
2) I Can't Cook So We'd Go NANDOS Everyday And YOU Will Eat Spicy Rice
3) I Play Football, You Play FIFA/PRO That Is BUFF In Itself .
4) No You Can't Meet My Mum
5) Weekly Trips To La Senza Are To Be Expected
6) I'm A Clean Freak, I Expect You To Wear Deodorant As Much As You Expect Me To Wear Eyeliner
7) I'm NOT Some Typical Girl That Gets Paranoid When You Air My Calls/Texts Just Know If You Decide To Be A Fuckery . . . YOU Will Get Removed/Replaced Nicely .
8) I Can Be Affectionate Just Don't Call Me 'Boo', 'Bitch' Or 'Pookie' .
9) You Will Have To Carry Me Home When I'm Drunk, I'll Love You Later When I'm Sober
10) Some Girls Like Being Followed Around Everywhere By There Boyfriend . . . I Don't .
11) I'd Randomly Buy You Lil' Things Like Weed Or A Packet Of Rizla
12) We'd Go In Starbucks And Get A Caramel Creme (You'd Always Remember To Ask For Soya Since Wifey Is Lactose Intolerant)
13) If Your Room Is Messy, I Will Most Probably Clean It, Bleach It And Re-Arrange It .
14) If You Do Say 'I Love You' On Facebook Before You've Said It To My Face . #DASAPAR Immediate AIRTIME Will Take Place .
15) You Can Tell Me Your Secrets I WILL Laugh But Find It 'Aww' That You Told Me .
16) I'm In NO Way Connected To Any Of Your 'Bredrins', 'Bruddas', 'Famo' AT ALL .
17) I'll Let You Spit 'Bars' To Me And Say There Good Even Though I Think THEY ARE SHIT .
18) Don't Ever Say 'Why Can't We Be Like Jay-Z And Beyonce ?!' Who's Got PEEEEES ?!
19) I'm Nice Most Of The Time, I Expect You To Be Quite Nice Too . . . Not Nice To The Point Of It Being Overbaring/Gay .
20) I SIMPLE ASK YOU DO NOT Cheat/Lie And Steal . This Is Not A Game Of Goldenballs . Any Sort Of Unfaithfulness In This Relationship Will NOT Be Tolerated Because You Simply Will Get AIR And In The Words Of This Woman :



GET ME .