FIRST DATE .

I Don't Care If You Look Like Him . . .
(Well I Do, But For The Purposes Of This BLOG I Don't)

I Don't Care If This Date Is Going FAAAARKIN' MARVELLOUS .

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE .


IF I EVER SPOT THIS IN YOUR GRILL .

1) It Will Stay There Because I'm Not Telling You It's There .

2) If I Go Quiet All Of A Sudden . I'm Watching The Piece Of Green Ikea Furniture In Between Your Teeth .
3) I'LL NEVER EVER BE ON A LIPSIN' TING WITH YOU . EVER .

This Will Just Mock My Life 19 Years Over If I Ever Saw It .

CHOCOLATE Ha . Ha Fucking Funny . NO . . . It's Only Funny If Your 11 Or Retarded . When Your 20 Years Of Age And You Do That In Front Of A Girl . Just Know You'll Be A . . .

VIRGIN FOREVER .

CLOTHES .

I'm No Fashionista/Gok Wan But Fuck My Life If You Ever Turn Up On Our Date Dressed To Go On Jeremy Kyle .

Next Thing You Know You Try Lock Off The Date At 7pm Due To The Conditions Of Your ASBO .

FAAAAAAAAARK OFF Immediately With That One .

Please Dress Like We're At Least Going On Trisha If Your That Desperate .

OR . . .

Preferably Dress Like This Guy . . .

And You Will Definately Be In With A Chance Of Getting A 'Bang Doe' .

PLACE

Now I Hate Dates I Really Do . I Think There Gay . Allow 2 People And Akward Silences . If I Wanted To Do That I'd Beg It With Someone I Hardly Know Without The Motive Of At The End Of The Night Getting Some .

PLEASE BE CREATIVE .

This Is Against My Religion . Take Me Here And I'll Show You What The Holy Spirit Does To People .

THIS . . .

IS PERFECT !

If I Don't Like You . I Don't Like This Date . I Can Run For It .

I'm Sure There Are 100 Other Rules And Regulations For A Perfect 1st Date But These Are Just Some Of MINE .

And This Is My Blog So I Can Do That Biotch .

OH I FORGOT . . .

SHOES

If You Don't Have These On . . .

Immediately Remove Thoughts Of My Lovebox From Your Head If You Think You Were Ever Gonna Get A Bang Doe With These On . . .