OH MY LIFE .

Cutting A Long Story Short Before I Actually Go On Some Next Hype .

These . . . RASSCLART Inbreds/Jeremy Kyle Auditionees'

(Not So Much These Fools But Still You Get The Idea)
Tried To Move To Me Like I'm Some Next Prick . . .

'YOUR NOT FROM AROUND HERE ARE YOU .'

1) Eurgh NO Just NO . I'm Suprised You Couldn't Tell .

2) Southampton Should Rename Itself Reebok/Lonsdale ASAP .

3) Don't Talk To Me .

'HAVE YOU GOT A PHONE ?!'

(Of Course I Have A Phone You Prick Blackberry Actually)

I'm Sure You Have A Phone Too Except It's A Nokia And The Backlight Is Green

PAR TO YOUR LIFE .

. . . Yeah I Do .

'GIMME YOUR PHONE !'

'NOW !'

Wait . . . FIVE Of You . ONE Of Me And A Few Asda Bags .

YOU Are Not Serious .

'GIMME YOUR PHONE NOW !'

Collectively These Dickheads Looked Like . . .

(The Inbred Version Obviously)
I'm Sorry But I'm NOT Giving My Phone To Chuckie And Tommy .
What Are You Gonna Do With MY PHONE Once You Get It ?!

PHONE REPTAR ?!

Are You Serious ?!

(I Said This Alot . . . I Didn't Leave London 80 Miles Away To Get Robbed By Some Next Inbred Criminals)

'YEAH, GIMME YOUR PHONE .'

(Don't Think This Prick Had The Cheek . . . Thee AUDACITY TO PAT MY POCKETS)

OH MY LIFE ?! ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB FAM ?!

1) You Don't Touch Me .

2) You Only Touch Me If Your Choong .

3) You Only Touch Me If Your Choong And OVER THE AGE OF 18 .

You Qualify In NONE .

Obviously Being In Southampton And Not In South London Certain South London Ways I Cannot Get Away With Here Especially To LITTLE BOYS Who Looked About 5 .

Had I Been In London . Straight Kick To Your Throat You Bastard .

But In Southampton :

Don't Touch Me Are You Mad ?! Like Are You Being Serious ?!

The Only Reason They Rolled Out Is Because There Bredrin Came Over And Suggested They Go Arcade And Find Someone Else To Rob Because :

'THE BLACK GIRL AIN'T GIVING IN MATE' .

(Thrown In With Some Casual Racism . SAAAFE)

Of Course I'm NOT You Prick Because I'm Gonna Let Any Chav Filth Rob Me .

Oh Yeah, Here's My Phone Take It .

DEAD .

(If I See You About Town Again And I Catch You Slippin' . Just Know Innit)

Just Know .